Another boring day to me..wake up..doing some exercise..then do nth..lol..man..exam is cuming n y i stil so relaxing..is it because after SPM..i already forget the mood n the feel tat i should hav to face exam? i should feel pressure n stress when exam is near..Although now im having a lot lot of stress n pressure..but..those ar nt the pressure tat exam should giv me..those ar pressure of life..totally not related to exam.. sigh..guess i hav no choice other than find bac the feeling.. Or else.wat waits me is death..

=]

原本我不打算再写了。。但是。。我想了想。。还是继续吧！我现在才发现我平常一直埋怨她没回我信息，没接我电话，然后我的心情就非常地低落。其实啊！爱只需要付出，根本不在乎回报吧！我实在是太笨了。难道她每一封信息都没看吗？不可能吧？ 那就证明她只是不知道如何回答或是不想回答而已。。我又何必苦苦的去烦恼她为什么没回我呢？她闪我，难道她是怕接触到我会不知觉爱上我吗？ 不会吧，我绝对没那种的魅力。。怕麻烦？也许她是怕会伤害我当她说不的时候吧？对我而言，有很多时候，我们必须去尝试，即使机会非常渺小。。只要曾经试过，即使失败，也不会留下任何遗憾。。不过，一个人努力有时候会非常的寂寞，难道她不想有个爱她的人守在她身旁吗？默默的鼓励她。。陪着她。。逗她开心。。和她一起努力。。

好吧。。我决定了。。我会继续追求她。。加油加油！！ 先读书吧。。成绩不好如何配得上她呢？你继续闪我吧。。不久。。你就会知道那只是你在逃避现实。。无论如何，记住。。当你伤心时，我的肩膀永远都会在那。。只是看你愿不愿意去放开所有，然后轻轻地靠在我肩膀。。

。。。。。太悲观了。。。。。

哈哈，我想我是不是太悲观了啊！ 她都没说什么，我自己却在那头痛...伤心...也许在学校她比较害羞吗？也许吧？也可能是她还不大认识我吗？我好难才说服自己噢~没办法，我就是个悲观的人...

她难道没感觉到什么吗？补习坐在她身旁，和她说话，拿电话号码，然后再打电话给她...不会不知道吧？还是她在选择逃避？害怕生活发生改变吗？还是害怕分开时的痛苦，然后认为不开始就不会受伤吗？想读书并不是一个理由，那只不过是在逃避现实...难道有男朋友就不需要读书吗？狗屁吧！哈哈...

还是事情发展得太快，使她害怕了...无论如何，还是放慢脚步吧...今天放学时，我去找她告诉她说我会早到补习，要我帮她留个座位吗...她还是说她坐回原来的位子.然后就冲冲的离开了....我该如何是好？坐在她旁边吗？还是找个别的位子？哇...STPM 的考卷题也没这么难做选择吧？ @.@

突然累了。。。

在不知不觉中我累了，你不接我的电话...不回我的信息...在学校不大要睬我，即使我去找你谈天...我以为你是害羞，但..你却与别的男生有说有笑...你拒绝了我的要求..我只希望你能在补习留个座位给我，就在你身旁，你却说不能...

也许是我错了吧...是我太傻...对你而言，我也许只不过是一位没经过你的允许就闯进你生活里..把你的生活规律打乱的人吧...你压根儿就没在意我的存在吧...就像位旅客而已，今天..我在这，明天..我却不在你的记忆里了...悄悄的我走来...正如我悄悄的走...就连你对我的思念也无法带走...因为你从来没思念我吧?

那你知道吗？我的心现在正在淌着血...一滴一滴的流着...鲜红的血...在它滴落前...还存在着温度的血...而我..却不知何时起已感觉不到痛了...是我早已麻木了吗...也许...我的心脏早已停止操作了...所以我才会有如失去了灵魂的肉体...就在那儿阴暗的角落孤独的徘徊着...我只希望能和你好好的相处...没想到....那也成了一种奢侈...

放弃...我真的很想放弃...离开这...离开你的世界...你的生活...从此就过着简简单单的生活...我的勇气...已被你粉粹了...如今...我只不过是位平凡不过的人而已...我真的已无法再提起勇气了...不过在我心中...却有另一个声音告诉我...她不是你一直以来正在寻找的女神吗?你舍得放弃吗？我的内心世界就一直痛苦的挣扎着...好痛苦...好辛苦啊...难道...这就是...还没得爱...必须付出的...痛苦代价吗?

我真的觉得我好累好累....好想就这样躺下去...永永...远远...都不需要再起来...不过我就是放不下她...看来...要以命运搏斗的日子还很漫长呢...她不睬我...我就先读书吧...就让它顺其自然好了...我已经脱力了，就让我休息一下吧...眼皮感觉好沉重噢...呵呵...

:你是我最深爱的女人

:你是我最深爱的女人

爱上了一个人
能够为她牺牲
就算付出了生命
我甘心为了你
两个人在一起
分享爱的命运
永远都不会忘记
我们生活点滴
你是我最深爱的女人
你有最美丽的嘴唇
你拥有最动人的眼神
你带给我幸福和快乐
我是你最深爱的男
人我的爱绝对是永恒
做什么都值得

A start..

We hav becum frend frm ytd onwards..at least..tats wat i think..But she doesnt seem wil reply my sms often..i wonder wat is the reason she do tat..hp no money? sms too expensive? or jst simply dunwan i disturb her..haiz..headache.. well..watevar is the reason..i wil stil try my best..


And there ar a good news bout me too ..I thk i can barely mastered a song d.. i mean plying it wif a guitar..but now..i stil can onli ply it wif a slower speed..hmm..let use the time to train my guitar n study better than waiting her reply? yea..tak the time slowly..thr is no nid rush..i thk to her..relationship is unnessessary..study is more important..But did she knw tat..even u hav a relationship..it wont affect any of ur study as long as u n ur other half can arrange ur time well..n u can hav a person who u can share ur problems..ur sadness..ur happyness..all sort of thgs..n thr wil be a always a person who wil cheer u up whenever u ar moody or upset...doesnt tat feel good..hmm..









But tat is onli the way i thking..not her..nvm though..lets train my guitar n study 1st..tat thg jst put aside..now..im jst nid to becum her frend n find chance to talk to her..as a normal frend i suppose...

Monday..

Today hiking is soo boring n meaningless to me..i duno y i wil said tat..mb becoz of she is not going?
ANd today im told tat she was came back frm oversea..mb is when she is stil small..see-ing she so hardworking..tats really drive me gone insane...i feel so pressure..Im scared tat i wil getting the last place in the exam..Now im thirsty for knowledge..no matter wat type knowlege is tat..foreign language? guitar skill? normal subjects in school? i do hope i can be somebody in class..But..if im nt worked hard for tat..im sure i wil be the nobody in the class..no1 wil notice about my existance..not even her...

Praying~praying..praying for 2mr wil be a good day to me..But if u cum to thk of tis..u wil find tat praying isnt good enough for u to hav wat u wan..u nid to work hard to acomplish or getting wat u wan..And 2mr i wil hav a chance to prove tat.. *take a deep breath* phew..i wil try my best to ..u knw ..talk to her?

dammit..i feel i wan to kil myself now..A simple thg talk to a gal aso becum such complicated..haiz..

A New Day..

Sunday~~ One more day wil be the hiking day~ Hmm..im looking forward to it..i wonder if it wil be fun and full of excitment.. Cool..my frend is fetching me go up to the hill top..becoz i was warning by my mom to nt drived the car go up thr..The view there is sooo beautiful...Last tuesday morning..i was going there with my frend..ming huang n wee yang..and after hiking..we took pictures togather..as now..it wil becum our memories.coz..wee yang is going to monash kl to study pure science..

Damn..stilll thking about her..argh...forget it..signing off..

Countdown..

There are still 2 more days to go to reach tuesday...but to me..its like it has been years...Oh my GOD...plss save me from my suffering.. T.t

The image of her is haunting in my brain..tats make me kip think of her all the time..haiz..maybe i should jst kip myself busy to not think of her so often?plying game? studying? learning guitar? which 1 is better..If u ar asking my mom..no doubt she wil tell u studying is better...haha..but i need to find sometime to learn my guitar..coz..i gt interest in it too..But of coz..it wont haunting in my brain jst lik wat i said jst now..it was jst a simple interest in learning new thg..

1 second passed...2 second passed..3...4...and 5...6...7 second passed d..n wat time left to reach Tuesday...Is it 2 days or 2 years..i cant sure about tat anymore..

...Her...

last 3 weeks ago..when i 1st step in class..i noticed one of the gal tat sit behind of my class..My eyesight tat moving through the whole class..jst simply stop at her...I hav a weird feeling at tat time..it jst burst out frm my heart..telling me tat it is a type of feeling tat i dun feel be4..A fairly pretty face..a pony tail hair style..no wear spetacle..very quiet..doing revision at there alone..

But im so regret now..coz after 3 weeks i stil havent talk to her even once..im wasting 3 weeks time man...tats a lot...recently.i meet her in my chemistry tuition in tuesday..maybe the god heard my words n giving me 1 more chance? If i cant talk to her..maybe at least i can draw her attention n try to greet her..then..maybe we can be frend after tat..? ..hope so...

Monday im going to class hiking in air itam dam..7.30..but onli some of the classmate go...mostly is guys..n gals...there are 2 of them..frm wat i heard frm my frend..but...she is not going...but i stil hope..she wil go... hoping n hoping for all days and nights...

August holidays...we wil hav a trips to Maxwell Hills in Ipoh..We are going thr to catch some insects to make it as specimens..a part of the project for biology classes..i wonder she wil going or not..if she is going..i wil trying.inviting her into my group? *haiz*

Lacking of self-confidence..not brave enough is my fatal weakness..
Damn..im fed up of tis type of myself d..im gonna change..for her sake..n for mine too..
Then ply less game n concentrate on studies? hmm..i wonder if i can do it or not..
maybe not now.but im sure i can do it after i meet her n knw bout her...